I am happy, I am blessed. Though I am also confused at the same time. See, I think it a combination of being a girl, and having an over anylizing, over thinking brain. I try to stop it, but it never listens to me.
As I am writing this, I am cleaning my room, re arranging my room, on facebook, and doing a little arts and craft project. None of these things helps organize, or distract my brain. I keep thinking things I have told myself I shouldn't. Contemplating these things too much does not help me accomplish anything. The things I think about are pointless and part of my life.
Those things that I cannot separate my brain from sprout from being a girl. Though every time in the past when I have thought about it, its always hurt someone else in the end. It worries me that it will happen again. I don't want it to, because I really care about the person that it would effect. If anything went wrong I would never be able to forgive myself.
So now, I must get back to cleaning. It doesn't help my situation, but at least I can worry and be upset in a clean room, right?
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