The year of Ally Chapter One

Chapter One
Tanasia O’Hare
 The combination of blinking lights, and monotone orders over the mental intercom system can overpower the brain at times. Making it close to impossible to follow the orders being barked at top speed. The human race may soon enough be assigned a number per person. All in the pursuit to find a more efficient method of communication.
The ship was not in utter chaos, but it could be considered so to any rookie. I have seen it in worse conditions in the past ten years that I have been a part of the space stations crew. True chaos is when we are in peril, here and now, we are only busy. The station maintenance drones buzzed above my head as I ran down the corridor. First day on my position as a field agent finally has arrived. Too my luck, I am late. The drones had been doing some metal intercom repair over the night, setting my internal clock back an hour. Only problem is that I was never able to have them chance my personal settings back along with it. My three o’clock awakening was pushed to four against my will. Now as I haul to my introgression appointment before they close down for the morning. I run praying that I will not shoot me off into space for my unintended tardiness.
“Good Morning ISS Citizens. Today is December 20, 2310. Daily announcement download in 3...2...1” an human voice, then ambient click and every citizen was invaded with knowledge. Daily and up coming events that are relevant to our individual lives flooded into our brains instantly. I knew everything from the fire outbreak in section five, to the lunch special. Every single day with the quick and privacy invading interruption of my thoughts. “Earth update in 3...2...1” following with another click and more knowledge on every little detail going on, on the primitive land beneath us . Another click for birthday announcements and the intercom shut off for the day. Unless of course there was some message from the President of the United States, or the President of the United Nations. Those messages have not occurred in two years, but on ISS, or the international Space station, they are not looked at as uncommon.
We are in charge all the earths knowledge, research and history since the beginning of time. Unfortunately, that requires almost no privacy. Messages from authority can be received through the brain’s installed intercom system to reduce hassle and confusion. Interpersonal and Work related communication other than talking takes place through microphones and listening devices disguised as piercing in the nose and in the cartilage of the ear. Which of course can be monitored at anytime by authority.
I burst thought the doors to the medical wing, took a flight of stairs down to introgression and arrived an hour late to my appointment. Sweating, cursing, and probably looking like a mess I had arrived. I stopped in the middle of the tile flooring, stale cold air swirling around me. The human medic and his accompanying drone nurse came forth to great me. No sign of urgency flashed across the doctors face, relaxing my nerves slightly.
“Happy Birthday Ms. O’Hare. Tardiness will only be excused on birthdays. Follow suit. The lab awaits.” The doctor spoke to me. Black electronic eyes bored into mine, then turned for me to follow. His thin frame proceeded down the lonely corridor, with the wheels of the drone behind me.
Walking past covered operating rooms, the reality of the situation hit me without warning. We will walk into one cold sterile operating room, I will have to lie down on the plastic bed and close my eyes to stop my internal screaming. Yet I will only have seconds before they ask me to open them so they can put the clamps on my eyes. The eyes roll backwards during sleep, and the clamps will have to come before they can knock me out cold. Only upside of being under the control and will of the surgeons, is if I don’t give them a reason to hate me, I would receive night vision along with a rare few others on the ship.
The handsome and taciturn face of the surgeon will be the last thing that I see before the drone injects me with the chemicals. It will be the last face I will see before I go from researcher, to field agent.
Field agent, where I will get to see planet Earth for the first time in my existence. The idolized status above the position of authority. The only position where you are required to get extensive introgression surgeries. What new genes I will posses frightens me, let alone the fact that I might not wake up from the surgery. Which hasn’t happened in 100 years, yet there is still the possibility.
In the ISS, there is no time to fear, no time to for hesitation, and absolutely no time for errors. So, with one last blink, swallow and thought of reassurance. I sit down on the table, as the drone carries over the lethal looking eye clamps. No turning back. Even if I did, there was no where for me to go. I am in space. with the only way down to earth in front of me.
　

　

A little idea that I just started. I am only posting the first chapter unfortunately. 

The year of

ALLY

Home

In the midst of packing up the last of the items in our house, I thought of my blog. Still didn’t know what I was going to write, but I thought of titles. I don’t know if it was because I had little sleep on the carpet floor, or if it was just because I was getting my mind off of the reason I was packing my stuff. But song titles started rolling through my head to try and base the next post on. The Ingrid Michelson song are we there yet started to go through my head. The first line was fine, however the second just made me want to forget the song even popped in my head.
I looked around and remember the previous two days. How there were a lot of families that we are friends with, helping load everything we own into two large trucks. The chaos, the heat, the sweat and tiredness that came with. But I also remembered the friendliness, how everyone got along, and even if it was a lot of work, it was fun. Because we were all together. Home really is where the heart is. Unlike Ingrid, I have found my home, and we are not driving around in circles, afraid to call this place our home. I always said, Texas is my home, all my family is there. But all these friendships we have created, all these lives we have been blessed to be apart of, are raw and real. We created them from ground up. No one lead us to these families when we moved here originally. We knew no one, except for my dads boss. So looking around was hard to do, because I didn’t want to break down as they left, even though we are the ones who are really leaving.
I hope I hadn’t offended anyone who noticed I didn’t cry. I hate crying, and despise it when others are around. Some people say its good for you, but I just enjoy making people smile and laugh. That’s why when the last family left, when giving the mother a hug goodbye, I had to give her a quick tango instead of having her tears wash over me. I was sad to be saying goodbyes, even though I know it wont be the last time I am going to be seeing them. I just needed my expression of sadness to come before and after that moment.
So long story summed up, I just basically discovered my heart can have more than one home. Its not in the house that carried so many memories. Its in the memories themselves, the people, the friendship and the life that brought happiness. Of course we always have our home with God, but the homes that he has supplied us with is more than just a structure that can be taken down with wind. These relations that we make are strong, and are what will withstand something like a move. Its what I had to tell myself when we were saying a temporary goodbye. A little bit of comfort when you are leaving your home, to make another one.

Together (because I need to say it)

       Well as my current one follower knows, because she is one of my best friends, I am moving. She does not want to talk about it, and I am not sure she will be reading this or not. But I will talk to this unknown audience of readers as if I knew she was going to read. Who would read this anyway? Sure I posted the link on Facebook. Though I am just another high schooler. I just like writing, so why should anyone take the time to read these words? I am not saying you should. Because most people in the world like to turn a blind eye to somethings and some people that just want to be real. And that's all I am and will be in these blog posts. So if you are still reading, stay tuned for what goes through me. Well, a piece of it anyway. And even though my one follower might not respond, even if she does read this. I wanted her to know how I felt, without saying it in a conversation. It would be to weird and it wouldn't come out like it does if I write it.

Confuzzling

     I am happy, I am blessed. Though I am also confused at the same time. See, I think it a combination of being a girl, and having an over anylizing, over thinking brain. I try to stop it, but it never listens to me.
     As I am writing this, I am cleaning my room, re arranging my room, on facebook, and doing a little arts and craft project. None of these things helps organize, or distract my brain. I keep thinking things I have told myself I shouldn't. Contemplating these things too much does not help me accomplish anything. The things I think about are pointless and part of my life.
    Those things that I cannot separate my brain from sprout from being a girl. Though every time in the past when I have thought about it, its always hurt someone else in the end. It worries me that it will happen again. I don't want it to, because I really care about the person that it would effect. If anything went wrong I would never be able to forgive myself.
   So now, I must get back to cleaning. It doesn't help my situation, but at least I can worry and be upset in a clean room, right?

Bracing for the Impact

     If you hit your hand on a hot stove, it hurts right? If you know it would hurt again, why would you do it again? Sometimes I feel like that with my life, and it scares me. I know what is happening as it does. I know that it might come back to be a hot stove if I continue. Though, it's not something I am able to control apparently. I almost have this paranoid effect, because when I am bracing myself for that impact as I am falling towards, I constantly look around for where it will hit from. I even wonder if it will come at all. It is one big mess I tell you. Its a mistake, a mistake that as I get closer to God, I know will be fixed by following his plan instead of just free falling. I still look over my back, I have that habit. Though, I am slowly easing away from doing that, the longer it goes without making that impact with the hot stove.
      So as I find my way, please deal with these blog posts. This post started off as a nervousness release, yet, it turned out to be working my way through the problem, by admitting I should let God take control. I love how those things work. For now, I am still bracing for the impact. Though holding Gods hand helps me stay calm.

Glitter and Gold

I love theater arts. Though I am not a normal drama nerd either. Though as time goes on, and I get smarter, and older I realize how scary Hollywood seems.One, acting is not a solid job for me to start off with.Two, It is hard to find a grounded actor or actress. Stupidity can come easily once we get a taste of easy money and easy love. Yes, I actually dared to bring that up. Sorry, but even if I end up having people following this blog, I am not changing these statement for one bit. I use to dream of becoming famous, but now, not so much.

 I think I am very grounded, and know who I am and where I came from, for my age. Though, I don't know all that does on behind the camera. No matter how much I love to preform, I am going to have to be a lot stronger within myself and my savior before I can ever attempt at Hollywood. High school drama programs are looking a whole lot better, when I turn on that television.

We are living in a world where celebrities are being idolized, and being told they need to jump off a cliff for a TV show, movie, or song that a person disliked.  We are in a world where glitter, and impurity and instant gratification, alcohol and money are seeming to be longed for, over God. Yes, another risky topic that is not brought up much. We are also worried about feelings way to much, but that will be another post. Things that should not can be dangerous, dirty and make life troubling are glorified by avoiding the problem.  Jesus is not getting smaller, we are just turning a blind eye and finding that man made items, and things that mask our daily problems will fix us, cure us and make our personal pain smaller.

Most of us are thinking like this, maybe not you specifically, and not I. But most humans out there are, wither you want to believe it or not. Thinking that because celebrities look like they are having fun, I should do all I can to be like them. Remember, we do not see all that they are going through. A lot of the celebrities don't like the paparazzi, and all that comes with fame. Its essentially empty, and God will make our lives full. Not glitter, and not gold, dancing until we drop will not heal heart aches. Idolize celebrities, and you idolize what you portray them as.Something portrayed is easily changed to influence you negatively. It is fake, and work of deception, more than it is real. Living your life in their shadow can only bring pain in the near, or far future.

If you took anything out of this post, take this. There is a god shaped hole in all our hearts. Only God can fill it himself. Nothing man can provide will to that task. No glitter or gold. Just God.

Question's for the heart

Over the course of a year, I feel I have grown in many ways. Spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. If you had told me a year ago what all I was going to see, I would have laughed in your face. But, just like Kanye West says, what doesn't kill me, will make me stronger. I didn't believe it during the low parts, but it does make me stronger. If only It could make me physically stronger at the same time, then I would be really happy. But no, the only thing I have now is that after taste in my soul. The kind that makes me go over everything one by one, and sigh. Even though the sigh does not help, it feels like it should. So, what I am going to do is post some questions. You don't have to put any thought into them, they are just some that I had to answer on my own.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Why are bubbles round?

Why does the sun have to some up so early in the spring and summer, but when I have to get up early in the fall, it is very late?

Why do we have to make choices?

Why do we make wrong choices?

When we make those wrong choices, why do we have to live to regret them?

How come forgetting comes easy when I am told to do the dishes, but when it comes to those wrong choices, we can't go a day without remembering it?

Why does our heart, not listen to our head?

How come our heart and head do not get along?

Why do we have to take our own advice?

Would it be easier at times if we didn't?

Why is so easy to slip up?

Why are people annoying?

Why do you want to beat the crap out of those annoying people?

When did life start going in circles? (once and a while)

Why does my heart have to be protected now, because of my head and it screwing up so much?

Why does life seem so pleasant now that my head took over?

Why do I over think things?

Is it for the better?